Dear Parents
of a College Freshman,
Congratulations!
Your child has survived their first year of college, even if it was just barely.
Now they are packing up their dorm rooms, saying goodbye to friends, and
selling textbooks for gas money to come home. While you are probably ecstatic
to have your baby back home, your baby is probably facing some anxiety about
summer break. There is no way in the world I will ever claim to know anything about parenting, however, I do
want to share some thoughts you may or may not find helpful as you adjust to
your child being back home.
·
Your
student is tired – I realize they need a job, sleep until noon, and eat
everything in your house AND they’ve done it three days in a row. You’re right,
they probably are being lazy, but try to remember they just finished a week of
finals. This probably meant at least one or two all night cramming and paper
writing sessions, drinking way too much coffee, and eating way too much junk
food. Then they had to pack up their entire home they’ve known for the school
year and cram it in their little car. Give them a little space to rest and then
kindly tell them to get a job.
·
Point out
the positive – Some students go home convinced that their summer is going
to be miserable because their parents are going to tell them what to do at
every waking moment. They’ve automatically tuned their ears in to only hear the
negative. Catch them off guard
with some positive reinforcement and encouragement. Thank them when they’ve
helped around the house or praise them when you can actually see a part of
their bedroom floor. It may take some time but eventually their ears won’t be
listening for just the negative.
·
Communicate
expectations – Your child has spent the entire school year making their own
decisions about how to spend their time and resources. They may not have always
been the best choices, but they aren’t use to having to tell someone where they
are going all the time and what they are doing. Clearly communicate to them
from the beginning of the summer what you expect them to do around the house
and if they need your permission to go places.
·
Remember
they are watching you – You are more aware than anyone else that your child
is still learning and developing independence. Be a good model of
relationships, wise choices, and communications. They notice how you respond in
situations and looking to you to understand how to practice their independence
well. Be patient when they fall short. It is going to happen.
I know you
love your child very much. Enjoy the time you have with them this summer. It
always goes faster than you think it should.
