Reflections from the weekend..

I had a great time at the retreat this weekend despite the fact we all had to peel out early because of the weather. It was good to see old friends and be a part of their ministry. These students were a blast. They all clicked right away. They interacted with each other as if they had known each other for years.

A couple sponsors backed out, so I ended up leading a small group. They named our group the “Bangcombs.” I think my favorite part of the weekend was watching one of the student’s view of things back home start to change. I don’t know his story but very early in the weekend he shared that he was dealing with some tough things back home and he was just glad to escape it for the weekend. Each conversation after that lead to the realization that he didn’t have to face all of the junk alone. I don’t know what will happen now that he is back home but just watching the wheels start to turn was pretty awesome.

Saturday afternoon I lead an elective on building a prayer time. I was shocked to have as many students as I did in the first session. They asked questions and were very attentive, a much appreciated change from school! I was pleased with how it went. Hopefully they walked away challenged and with a few new tools to help them grow.

My main role for the weekend was to lead worship. That, however, didn’t go so well. I don’t think I’ve played the piano so horribly in front of a group of people. I don’t know what my problem was but I struggled. I was pretty disappointed but most of the kids didn’t notice. In fact some of them think I’m some huge up and coming star. One asked if I was going to try out for American Idol! Those of you that know me know how hard I was laughing inside when he said that. I’m definitely not a vocalist!!!

Even though it didn’t go that well, I think it was a good time for me to face reality. My ears have been hurting quite a bit the last few weeks. They aren’t getting any better either. I’m going to try and get into the doctor this week. Depending on how that goes, I might have to push up my next appointment with the “super-specialist.” I was so excited when I left there in December. My hearing levels were the highest they have been in years and there was no pain at all. The doctor was pleased and sure that things would only keep improving. It doesn’t look like that. I’ve noticed that it has been getting harder to hear again and that scares me.

I’ll never forget when my specialist back home said I needed to start looking into a career outside of music. I was devastated. Then I met with the doctor in Detroit and things were better than ever. Now it is back downhill and I don’t know what to think. Every time this happens, I start to question how long I’ll have enough hearing to stay in music. I also become more and more amazed at how Beethoven did all that he did when he was deaf. I never thought I would be so thankful just to hear but living with the fear that it might not be there the next day really makes you appreciate it. I’ll just keep praying and see what happens.