I had a great conversation today about relationships of many types. It was very thought provoking and challenging. As much as I love people and being around them, I don’t understand relationships. Over the last month I’ve come to realize this more and more. You would think that as we get older we would grow in our understanding of how relationships work. I, however, just seem to get more and more confused and realize more and more how much I don’t get about the whole subject.
To be honest it kind of frustrates me because no matter how hard I try I just don’t seem to get it. God created us as relational beings, yet something about letting my guard down and connecting with people seems so impossible. Past experience has shown me that when you do start to let that guard down it never ends well. I’m so afraid of being hurt by people that I end up missing huge chunks of friendships. In this conversation today I was made aware of how much more there is for me to learn about all of this. I fear I’ll never understand it and never learn how to give AND take from those around us.
This week I have been blessed to hang out with some of my favorite people and it saddens me to think that I might not be living up to the friend that God has called me to be. So I’ll keep praying that he slowly teach me what being a friend and having healthy relationships is all about.
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