Trust

The last two-and-a-half years have been a very rocky journey and many days it seems like it will never turn around. Right before I left my apartment this evening to head to Granger I received some not so good news. That has been the way the last month has been, one hit after another. I knew Mark Waltz was going to be speaking on stress and worrying at New Community, so I knew God would have lots to say to me…and he did!

Many of Mark’s thoughts were reminders of things I’ve known but seem to have hidden away in the corners of my mind. One of those areas he talked about was trust. I’ve always despised the t-word. The t-word and I don’t get along very well. Mark challenged us to be honest with ourselves about what we really believe. I know that I have a hard time trusting, even trusting God. I know sometimes I just don’t do it. But tonight I realized just how much the “sometimes” affects the “all the time.”

Mark shared that sometimes when he sings the hymn “Tis So Sweet” he really sings, “I’m so glad I am learning to trust him. He also shared that sometimes he doesn’t sing the chorus because it really isn’t true. I was so glad to hear I wasn’t the only one who does that. I get so angry with myself that I can’t just simply trust him. I get frustrated that my head tells my heart to do it but my heart won’t. He then reminded us that it is a process. I finally realized God isn’t so caught up in the fact that I don’t always trust. God doesn’t ask me to have it all together. He just asks me to keep following. As I follow, I’ll learn to trust. What a huge relief!

I don’t see the circumstances in life turning around anytime soon. They may but they may not. Either way I have to keep following Christ and allow him to change my heart. He’ll teach me to trust and he’ll still love me when I don’t quite get it right.

Is there something that you need to be honest with yourself about? What do you REALLY believe?




Side note: Thank you Jeff and Amy for picking me up…again!