It clicked in my head today that some very important relationships in my life are at crossroads and I'm not responding in a very healthy way. It isn’t like there is a risk of losing any of these relationships. It is just that these friends, like myself, are at crossroads; no one really knows what the next step holds. Will the next step mean someone moves far away? Will it mean we get to spend even less time together? Will it mean we will see each other everyday? Will it mean we step into hard jobs or roles that may put a lot of stress on the relationship? Will it mean our friendship will be strengthened in ways we hadn't thought of before? It all is too uncertain for my liking.
In the past, my response has been to withdrawal and put up huge walls to protect myself. It is easier to say goodbye to friends that you are kind of close to rather than your closest friends. It is easier to spend less time together if you aren’t connected as tightly. It is easier to stop the pain from happening, or at least put if off, than preparing for it and living through it.
The problem is this response is very selfish. I “protect” myself at the cost of hurting these friends I care about. I push them away without giving any reason. I hurt them so I don’t have to deal with change. I leave them while they are trying to make tough decisions and work through the same changes.
I hate that I do this and I hate even more that I don’t realize I’m doing it. Even though it might mean tough goodbyes, rough transitions and hard adjustments later down the road, I’m going to try and be intentional about keeping the walls down. I figure it would be easier to walk through the change with friends you care about a lot than purposely force them to face the change alone.
God teach me how to be an unselfish friend. Teach me to show love in new ways even when I don’t know the next step. Help me trust you to guide my steps and my friends’ steps. Teach me to be more like you.
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Saying I Care...
I have always been a firm believer that it is important to tell people you love and care about them. I don't think most of us take the time to say the things that we think are obvious and understood. Our actions and words should reflect those feelings of love and appreciation.
I have always tried to be encouraging to those around me. Lately, I feel like I've had a hard time conveying to people that they matter and I care about them. It is like I’ve said the same things over and over again and they are starting to become less and less meaningful. What can I do to let people know they are loved? How can I communicate that in new ways?
Does anybody else find them self in that place or is it just me?
I have always tried to be encouraging to those around me. Lately, I feel like I've had a hard time conveying to people that they matter and I care about them. It is like I’ve said the same things over and over again and they are starting to become less and less meaningful. What can I do to let people know they are loved? How can I communicate that in new ways?
Does anybody else find them self in that place or is it just me?
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Another Great Oasis
Last night was a great night at Oasis. Jeff ran the show and Seth spoke about being loyal and faithful friends. It was a great message. Our small group questions talked about what it means to be a loyal friend and examples of ones in our lives. I shared with my girls about a couple amazing and faithful friends in my life. As I was driving home, I must have thanked God a thousand times for those friends. It wasn't that long ago that I didn't really have any friends. And for everytime I thanked God, I asked him to help me be that kind of friend.
This was the first week I feel like we have actually had some conversation with depth in my small group. The girls shared a lot about what is going on in their lives. I think many of them on are the brink of some great things. They had awesome stories about how they used a dollar to impact someone else's life. I am really excited to hear a couple of the girls perform in their band concert next week. I love my girls! I just wish it was the beginning of the year instead of the end.
Praise God for his faithfulness and the blessing of friends. Praise God for the Relentless girls! They rock!
In other news...if you need something to do Friday night at 7, you should come hang out at our school's spring concert. If anything you can come laugh at me being a teacher!
This was the first week I feel like we have actually had some conversation with depth in my small group. The girls shared a lot about what is going on in their lives. I think many of them on are the brink of some great things. They had awesome stories about how they used a dollar to impact someone else's life. I am really excited to hear a couple of the girls perform in their band concert next week. I love my girls! I just wish it was the beginning of the year instead of the end.
Praise God for his faithfulness and the blessing of friends. Praise God for the Relentless girls! They rock!
In other news...if you need something to do Friday night at 7, you should come hang out at our school's spring concert. If anything you can come laugh at me being a teacher!
Sunday, May 06, 2007
In a matter of seconds...
I am learning more and more each day how quickly life can change in a matter of seconds. It can change for the better or for the worse. You can find yourself flying to the top of a mountain or curled in a ball in the bottom of a pit. You can’t control those seconds of drastic change. You have a choice to stay in them or move through them and learn. Sounds so easy…
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Micah's Reminder
"He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
And to walk humbly with your God."
Micah 6:8
This year Fuller has spent their chapel services on studying this verse and I’ve discovered the messages have been good reminders.
Dr. Richard Mouw, the president of the seminary, talked about remembering our own need for justice and mercy. He talked about how God is just but he doesn’t stop there, he chooses to show mercy as well. I often wonder why it is so easy for me to forget that God is merciful and graceful. I deserve hell, yet God decided to show mercy and yet I can’t seem to show mercy to others. I needed to be reminded.
Dr. Doug Nason, did the second message focusing on the tone of Micah’s voice. Israel wanted to know what it was God wanted from them. So Micah tells them what they have already been told. Act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God…DUH! I’m sure Micah was a little frustrated he had to tell them what thing they had already been told. Sure doing those three things aren’t always easy and don’t necessarily come naturally to us but it isn’t all that complicated either. But we forget over and over again, even the great Pharisees, scholars of the law, forget. I need to be reminded.
Unfortunately, I have to be reminded much more than I would like. The thing I have always loved about this passage is that it states it so simply. Micah doesn’t tell them to do all of these complicated, impossible things. I think the more we walk with God and remember what he has done for you, the easier it becomes to act justly and show mercy. Why? Because God is justice and mercy. The closer and more humbly we walk with God, the more we understand the depth of God’s justice and mercy. How easily I forget and lose sight of that! I need to be reminded.
And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
And to walk humbly with your God."
Micah 6:8
This year Fuller has spent their chapel services on studying this verse and I’ve discovered the messages have been good reminders.
Dr. Richard Mouw, the president of the seminary, talked about remembering our own need for justice and mercy. He talked about how God is just but he doesn’t stop there, he chooses to show mercy as well. I often wonder why it is so easy for me to forget that God is merciful and graceful. I deserve hell, yet God decided to show mercy and yet I can’t seem to show mercy to others. I needed to be reminded.
Dr. Doug Nason, did the second message focusing on the tone of Micah’s voice. Israel wanted to know what it was God wanted from them. So Micah tells them what they have already been told. Act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God…DUH! I’m sure Micah was a little frustrated he had to tell them what thing they had already been told. Sure doing those three things aren’t always easy and don’t necessarily come naturally to us but it isn’t all that complicated either. But we forget over and over again, even the great Pharisees, scholars of the law, forget. I need to be reminded.
Unfortunately, I have to be reminded much more than I would like. The thing I have always loved about this passage is that it states it so simply. Micah doesn’t tell them to do all of these complicated, impossible things. I think the more we walk with God and remember what he has done for you, the easier it becomes to act justly and show mercy. Why? Because God is justice and mercy. The closer and more humbly we walk with God, the more we understand the depth of God’s justice and mercy. How easily I forget and lose sight of that! I need to be reminded.
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