Crossroad Friendships

It clicked in my head today that some very important relationships in my life are at crossroads and I'm not responding in a very healthy way. It isn’t like there is a risk of losing any of these relationships. It is just that these friends, like myself, are at crossroads; no one really knows what the next step holds. Will the next step mean someone moves far away? Will it mean we get to spend even less time together? Will it mean we will see each other everyday? Will it mean we step into hard jobs or roles that may put a lot of stress on the relationship? Will it mean our friendship will be strengthened in ways we hadn't thought of before? It all is too uncertain for my liking.

In the past, my response has been to withdrawal and put up huge walls to protect myself. It is easier to say goodbye to friends that you are kind of close to rather than your closest friends. It is easier to spend less time together if you aren’t connected as tightly. It is easier to stop the pain from happening, or at least put if off, than preparing for it and living through it.

The problem is this response is very selfish. I “protect” myself at the cost of hurting these friends I care about. I push them away without giving any reason. I hurt them so I don’t have to deal with change. I leave them while they are trying to make tough decisions and work through the same changes.

I hate that I do this and I hate even more that I don’t realize I’m doing it. Even though it might mean tough goodbyes, rough transitions and hard adjustments later down the road, I’m going to try and be intentional about keeping the walls down. I figure it would be easier to walk through the change with friends you care about a lot than purposely force them to face the change alone.


God teach me how to be an unselfish friend. Teach me to show love in new ways even when I don’t know the next step. Help me trust you to guide my steps and my friends’ steps. Teach me to be more like you.