Wednesday, April 22, 2009

What is this?

God is up to something. About 20 minutes ago I finished the last of the "Must get done Today" list. Needless to say I started that list around 6:30 this morning. I decided I would quickly check my e-mails, voice-mails and such to make sure there was nothing I was forgetting before I finally head to bed. Somewhere in the midst of that something strange started to happen.

My heart started beating a little faster. There is a uneasy stillness in my chest. For a stillness, it sure rattles a lot. It is a sense of urgency but I'm not sure what for. What is this restlessness I asked myself? Not having any idea I decided to retrace my steps, but my thought process had evidently disappeared. I don't remember what I was thinking. This feeling is stirring in my gut and rushing to my entire being.

What or who can cause such anxious feelings covered with a peace that is hard to understand? For me these feelings can't co-exist, a rattling stillness and an anxious peace. Such polar opposites cannot come together. But that is the very thing which leads me to believe it must be Jesus. Only God can fuse together such things. Past experience tells me when an urgency this great overtakes you, God is up to something great.

I have no words to place with these feelings. I have no meaning for them. Only a source far greater than I can conceive and some dreams to fill with endless possibilities. What could the ultimate Creator be designing next? What shape is he molding?

Only time will tell, as I treasure the beauty of the collision that is happening inside me.

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