Thursday, August 09, 2007

Tearing down walls and taking risks

SEX GOD - Rob Bell (Read it!)
Excerpts from Chapter 5 -

“Love is handing your heart to someone and taking the risk that they will hand it back because they don’t want it. That’s why it’s such a crushing ache on the inside. We gave away a part of ourselves and it wasn’t wanted.

Love is the giving away of power. When we love, we give the other person the power in the relationship. They can do what they choose. They can do what they like with our love. They can reject it, they can accept it, they can step toward us in gratitude and appreciation.

Love is a giving away. When we love, we put ourselves out there, we expose ourselves, we allow ourselves to be vulnerable.

Love is giving up control. It’s surrendering the desire to control the other person. The two – love and controlling power over the other person – are mutually exclusive. If we are serious about loving someone, we have to surrender all of the desires within us to manipulate the relationship.” (98)

“The danger is that you will decide it isn’t worth it. Why risk if it’s going to hurt like this? The tragedy would be for you to shut down, to allow a wall to be built around your heart, and for something within you to die.

A decision not to risk again is a decision not to love again. They go together.

Why is it those we love the most are the ones capable of hurting us the most…This is because the more we open ourselves up, the more vulnerable we are. The more exposed we are the more it hurts. The more we let someone in, the greater the risk.” (108)

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A good number of relationships in my life have been ones of rejection. I reacted in the same way described in this chapter. At a very early age I learned how to build a wall around me and how to shut of my emotions. It was a very hard lesson for me to learn that the thick wall actually kept the pain in and didn’t allow love to come in and heal the pain.

For the last few years I’ve been on the journey of tearing down that wall. Slowly, painfully, piece-by-piece it has started to come down. I’m learning what it is like to take different risks in my life. It is easier now to take the risks than it was 3 years ago, because the wall has started to come down. I’ve learned to trust God and I’ve experience his love and provisions in ways I never thought possible.

Today I’m examining my journey. Am I doing what I need to do to allow God to heal me or am I still holding on to bricks and trying to rebuild my wall?

4 comments:

  1. I like the new look. I won't say much about how I'm really doing other than I believe I am supposed to step away from being a "worship minister". Honestly, I am tired of guys who don't know a darn thing about music or worship leading thinking they know better how it is supposed to be done. I don't know where I am being led yet so I will give my current ministry my all until then but I believe something is going to change at some point. That's as honest as I can get in a public forum for now. Thanks for asking though, I greatly appreciate the concern. Writing may be the career change, I have been researching how to get a book published and have actually started writing.

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  2. Hey, when you get the chance, give me the rundown on Praying In Color. That may be the next pick up for me. Funny that you had quoted ch. 5 of Sex God, I just finished that chapter and am on ch. 6, I find that coincident interesting! I am still turning it over in my brain at the moment.

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  3. Sarah,
    That is soooo very cool about the job. I'm glad He came up with a way for you to stay in the area. You're amazing and those student don't know how fortunate they are to have you as your teacher...not yet anyway. Enjoy the ride my friend.
    Judy

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  4. hey! I just finished that chapter in Sex God. I couldnt get through it all in one sitting. It really was a deep subject! Talk to you later! (this is amy k by the way)

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