This weekend I’ve had several frustrating moments. It seems that no matter how close my dreams may seem they slip further and further away. Friday night I spoke at Girlz Only night and today I received this e-mail.
“I need your help... I'm trying to start up a girls' small group (young teen) or maybe even high school girls, but not both (I don't think). I dunno, that's why I need your help, because you seem to be one to talk to about that stuff. Do you think you could help me out?“
I read that and was a little surprised she would ask me. I miss this! I miss being able to spend my whole day preparing to share with students, building relationships with them and looking forward to our next service project.
Now I dread getting out of bed every morning. I spend hours and hours everyday on things I don’t really enjoy. I say no to different opportunities because teaching takes so much time. I’m learning many things from my students and teaching school but it seems to take more out of me than anything. How much longer will I have to do this?
“My heart is in anguish.
The terror of death overpowers me.
Fear and trembling overwhelm me.
I can’t stop shaking.
Oh, how I wish I had wings like a dove;
then I would fly away and rest!
I would fly far away
to the quiet of the wilderness.”