Taking a Leap

The beginning of August has become the time when I look back over the summer and start processing what I've learned and how to apply it to the school year. This year was no different until I realized I was standing at the edge of the cliff and God was asking me to jump.

All summer I watched as God confirmed my call to student ministry. I was amazed by how much I learned about the Spirit and his presence in my life. As I started to pray about what this meant for my classroom I started to feel very uneasy about going back to school. I didn't think much about it but then I started to wonder if maybe what God had been preparing me for all summer was going back into full time ministry.

I began spending every free moment with God praying, reading, studying and listening. During the summer I had started talking with different churches and ministries about possible staff positions and now I didn't feel at peace about returning to Edison. I felt a pull to resign from my position at the school so I would be free to move wherever God led. Of course that didn't seem logical so I ignored it. Then the tug got stronger and stronger. I knew God was asking me to jump and leaving the classroom was what my jump.

After seeking some advice from people much wiser than I am and talking some more with God, I turned in my letter of resignation. Since it was so close to school, I agreed to stay for three weeks to help with the transition and give the district more time to find a replacement. Tomorrow is the end of those three weeks. I don't know for sure what God has in store next but I know he already has it figured out. There are a few possibilities on the table that I'm pursuing and God will make my next step clear in his time.

When I told a friend about my decision she said, "That's not a step of faith. That's a leap!" It certainly is but I'm not worried about what comes next for me. I can't tell you how incredibly excited I am about what God is doing. Taking the leap wasn't the easiest thing I've done but it is by far one of the most freeing.

If you are ever at a point where God asks you to jump, do it!

Funny Morning

I hate the first few hours of the school day. Mostly because I'm not a morning person. However, this year is different. I've never laughed this much this early in the morning.

I have 8th graders first hour. They walked in to see a long rehearsal order and new reed prices (a significant increase) posted on the board. Then I heard this from a GSM student,

Student: (quite loudly) Oh my Lord!
Miss Koutz: Uh, would you like to try that again?
Student: (same volume) Oh my Holy Spirit!

I couldn't hold back the laughter. I tried but it just didn't work. The entire class was full of funny comments. There is no way I could write them all down. Most of them include inside jokes for our class and if you aren't familiar with middle school students you wouldn't laugh anyway.

After class, I told two girls they needed to pick up the pace or they would be late. One of them thought I told her to pick up her pants. Her response:

Student: (Tries to pull up pants) I know I was already pulled over for them being too long.
Miss Koutz: Not pants, pace. You need to hurry up or you'll be late.
Student: Oh! I thought you were talking about my pants because I was pulled over this.....
Miss Koutz: What!? You really did just say pulled over!? Were you driving your car down the hallway?
Student: Yea I got a ticket too.

She really did explain her dress code violation as if a cop had pulled her over on the road. Then I met with my principal about some upcoming transitions and I'm pretty sure she cracked jokes about every Old Testament story there is including calling herself Abednego. We walked out of her office so hard people turned and walked the opposite direction rolling their eyes.

Okay so only about two of you really understand how funny those conversations are and why it is so funny to me I would dedicate an entire post to it. The rest of you will have to just deal with it because it is my blog. I sure hope the rest of the day goes this well. I'm teaching double duty this afternoon.

A Year Later...

Those of you who have read my blog for awhile may remember this post from a year ago about spraining my ankle right before our concert started. I was walking down the stage steps and the step cracked.

It is now a year later. It was the same concert and the same step. I fell...again. They never fixed the step they just turned it around. That created a small whole towards the back of that step. My left foot got caught in it. I went to step down and rolled my right ankle.

After school I headed to the OT clinic and the doctor remembered me from a year ago. After x-rays and some painful tests, he told me I have another horrible sprain and a tiny chip in the ankle bone. Fortunately the chip is really more of a "flake" and in a part of the bone that shouldn't case any problems...just pain.

He was quick to tell me I couldn't do anymore concerts and had to stay away from the stage. Not going to happen. We have another concert on Thursday. All I'm suppose to do is teach. Boo! I'm still going on our retreat and no one can stop me!!!!

Never a dull moment in my life!

Family of Educators

I come from a family of genius educators, which most days makes me feel inadequate as an educator. My parents are teachers. I have aunts and uncles who teach at the college level. Several of my cousins have gone into education. They are all very good too.

Uncle Ron is one of those. He is a professor of psychology at York University. He was recently featured in an online magazine for his use of technology in his courses. For those of you outside the education world, making use of technology in teaching is a HUGE deal. You can read the article here.

Recently my dad was nominated by his student council to receive a Golden Apple Award. My understanding is there are only three handed out in the state. Here is what one of his students wrote about him.

Larry Koutz - Math Teacher
Vestaburg High School
Mr. Koutz is a very hard worker. He knows how to get through to any student. He is a no-nonsense teacher and truly cares about the education of our youth. He has been a teacher at Vestaburg High School for 37 yrs. He is the student council adviser, quiz bowl coach, and he keeps score for every boys and girls basketball game, boys football game, and girls volleyball game including both middle school and high school games. He also teaches many college and dual enrollment mathematics courses and many times does so without the benefit of a prepatory period. In addition, he is a very active member of the community and participates in many community activities. He is truly an amazing teacher and person and is greatly respected by the entire community.

He was my favorite teacher of all time. He'll do whatever he can to help students understand the material. Even answering math questions over the phone late at night! Voting is currently taking place and the winners of this reward will be announced in May. You can read more about the award or vote for him here.

I'm proud of my daddy and Uncle Ron. I've learned a lot from both of them. Hopefully it helps me become a better teacher.

Live from the Band Room

I may be exhausted today but work has been full of laughter. Some of that laughter was in my head during a conversation with one of my students. When I first started this position this girl couldn't stand me and now she comes to me for all sorts of random advice. Today's topic: BOYS! This conversation may top any conversation that happens in my classroom.

Student: How do you know if a boys likes you?
Miss Koutz: Excuse me, what?! (I was taken a little off guard by this question.)
Student: You know. How do you know if a boy likes you? Like...LIKES you likes you?
Miss Koutz: hmmm....excellent question. Let me know if you figure out the answer.
Student: Ha! No really Miss Koutz. I'm serious. How do you know?
Miss Koutz: Uhh, you did notice there is no ring on my finger right? I'm probably not the best person to ask about this.
Student: I don't care. What do you think?
Miss Koutz: Well I'm not going to pretend like I know. I honestly have no clue. If a boy were to like me he would have to flat out tell me. And then he would have to tell me again later because I would probably laugh at him the first time.
Student: MISS KOUTZ! You would laugh at a boy if he said he liked you?! That isn't nice.
Miss Koutz: Well I wouldn't laugh AT him. I would laugh because I would think he was joking around. I just wouldn't think he was serious.
Student: Miss Koutz that is dumb!
Miss Koutz: Haha...yea it is. Moment of confession...I've done that before.
Student: Miss Koutz! I can't believe you.
Miss Koutz: Well, I'm just keeping it real.

We laughed. I wrote her a pass and sent her off to class. I'm so glad my stupidity is helping others in life.

Question of the Day

How do you teach common sense?

Pure Randomness

Spooky Week - If you are into superstitions, you know this week had the potential to be down right horrible. There was a full moon earlier in the week and today was Friday the 13th. The full moon seemed to have the opposite affect on my students this week. (Thank you Jesus!) And my younger students proved everything true about Friday the 13th. They were a hot mess today.

Middle School Dances - I am the worst middle school dance chaperone there is because all I can do is laugh. I almost fell off the bleachers today as I was chaperoning. That is pure entertainment my friends.

Valentine's Day - Much like St. Patrick's day, I often forget this holiday exists. But I did receive some wonderful valentines from some students and staff members, including a "cheese cake." I'll be spending the day with my parents and brother on a little road trip to see my little sisters.

Cats - I'm sure I'll lose readers due to this comment but I hate cats! 'Nuff said.

Memphis - This is where I wish I was this weekend. Some of our GSM students and leaders hopped on a bus this morning to head south for the Student Life Conference. Kristian Stanfill is leading worship and Francis Chan is teaching. The good news is I was able to catch tonight's session online. Francis Chan was incredible!!!! I wish all of you could have heard it. Did I mention the bus has WiFi?

Packing - I hate it too. I'm waiting until the last minute and packing tomorrow morning. I'll probably regret it but I'm over it.

Special Request: Funny Story

Most of you know that I play keys for our student ministry program almost every weekend. Some of you know Seth Bible and know that he is our worship leader. Seth has some amazing skills and is one of the most humble people I've every met. Seth has a huge fan club, including several of my students from school. Thursday I had this conversation with one of those students.

Miss Koutz: So what did you think of service last night.
Student: Actually I get a little bored when I have to be upstairs.
Miss Koutz: I understand. Do you go to the Air Force room for Journey Class?
Student: Yea.
Miss Koutz: That's cool. I was thinking of playing with their band. I thought that might be fun.
Student: It is. Hey, aren't you in THE Seth Bible band? (This was said with LOTS of enthusiasm)
Me: Umm....yes?!
Student: I thought you were. I saw you practicing with him one night. That is awesome!

Okay so I'm not really in THE Seth Bible Band. I just loved the fact the student thought I was "in a band" and the fact he thinks playing for GSM is THE Seth Bible Band.

Seth thought the story was funny. In fact it was his idea to blog about it. Hence the post title, Special Request. May be if you come up with a good blog post idea and share it with me, I'll write post just for you. Any ideas?

Classroom vs Gym

I started a new workout plan today and I've concluded I need an easier plan. Wow am I out of shape! While I was praying my way through Brooke's Crazy Core Cardio Class I had the realization that the gym and my classroom aren't horribly different. There are some common threads that just show up in different ways. Let me give you some examples.

1) Comparison Game -
Classroom - When someone else is better students quit so they don't look dumb.
Gym - People do dumb stuff to make themselves look better.

2) Excuse Game
Classroom - Make the stupidest excuses ever for not doing the work.
Gym - Make the stupidest excuses ever for not doing the work.

3) "Ya feel me?"
Classroom - Do you understand what I'm trying to say Miss Koutz?
Gym - Are you in pain yet Sarah?

4) Striving to Survive
Classroom - Dodging things being thrown at you, avoiding punches thrown in a fight, keeping your hearing during a student meltdown
Gym - Not passing out, puking, crying or dying in Brooke's class

Let me make sure I make this perfectly clear. Brooke is an INCREDIBLE trainer. She is encouraging the entire time she is pushing you to your breaking point. She has helped me find an individual workout plan the works well for me. If she can motivate me to fit a workout into my schedule she can help anyone. Thinking of joining a gym or need a good workout plan, she is the one to help you out.

Day of Dreams

We were asked to allow our students to watch the inauguration festivities. My students joked that history was made twice today. One with Obama being sworn in as president and one with Miss Koutz allowing her students to watch TV in class. They're right. It will probably never happen again.

I like to take advantage of every second I have with my students. Everything we do in my classroom has a purpose and my students now it. Today was no different. I wanted them to witness history but I wanted it to be more than just watching TV. We discussed how Obama must feel reaching his dream. I asked them to think about their dreams and write them down. There were some typical responses and some that shocked me.

What My Students Dream...

• Play Professional Sports (Basketball, football, wrestle, and soccer)
• Fashion Designer/Visual Artist
• Professional Musician
• Dancer
• Actor/Actress
• Teacher
• Rich
• Doctor/Nurse
• Veterinarian
  
• Scientist
• Police Officer
• Chef
• Join the Army
• President (including the first women president and first Hispanic president)
• Astronaut (including the first human to walk on Mars)
  

Nothing too out of the ordinary in that list. These next two were a little surprising. One student wants to be a pirate, complete with an eye patch, and another wants to be super hero with super powers. I'll be honest, I laughed a little at those. But there were a handful that really made me stop and think.

• Five students said their biggest dream was to get a good education. You see many of my students will never get the chance to go to college. Statistically a significant number won't even finish high school. For some students an education may be the very thing that breaks the cycle of poverty for their family.
  
• One student said he dream was to visit Washington, DC. His parents were both born and raised in South Bend. They have never left the Michiana area. I love that our school takes our 8th graders to DC every year.
• Three students didn't care what it was they did they just wanted to do some thing that would make an impact. They want to make the world a better place. One mentioned doing it with one act of kindness at a time. They want to feed the hungry and build homes for the homeless. I have some smart students!
• "No Steeling" was written on one paper. I honestly didn't know what to do with that one. I don't know who's paper this was but I love this student's honesty. I have lots of mixed feelings about this one.
  

Each of those hit a different part of my heart but this last one hits harder than any. Folded up in a small square, I found a paper that read, "Why do you care?" This breaks my heart. It came from a student in the class I know the best. This student thinks they will amount to nothing because it is what they have been told. That makes me angry.

I'm praying God will show me new ways every day to show all of my students they have value and matter to a God who is much bigger than whatever is in their world right now.

Snow Day Plans

We have a snow day tomorrow!!!! More like at too cold to move day. Monday is a holiday so that gives me a wonderful four day weekend. I'm making a to do list for day one of the weekend.

Too Cold To Move Day To Do List
1. SLEEP IN!
2. Message Prep
3. Pay Bills
4. Balance checkbook
5. Catch up with friends (via phone, e-mail, letters, etc)
6. Top secret plans that certain blog readers can't know.


Have I mentioned how excited I am to sleep in?!

Live from the Band Room

That's right we are live from the band room today. I thought I take a short break and blog while I'm enjoying my lunch. It has been an interesting start to the second semester and I'm not quite sure what to think yet. My younger students are behaving like older students should and the older students seem to have reverted back to early childhood. Only in a middle school classroom do you see this phenomenon!
Really what I wanted to blog about was one of my classes this morning. A student asked if she could as another student a math question. Being the smartypants that I am I told her no but she could ask me. She politely said I wouldn't understand the problem. I informed her I did teach math and suddenly I had a line of students wanting to ask questions about their math homework...in band class.
After I made that comment another student yells out, "You use to be a math teacher AND a preacher? What haven't you done?" That led to a discussion about how I still teach at church. The students had a thousand questions about that. I told them about GSM and they asked more questions. One student who had come last year went on for about 10 minutes about how much they loved DC Curry. So I just invited them all to come on Sunday. I loved the entire conversation and didn't even care that we didn't get much accomplished.
STRAIGHT FROM THE MOUTHS OF MY STUDENTS:
"What do you preach about?" (Hmmm...let me tell you about Jesus!)
"What kind of preacher are you?"
"When you preach are you filled with the Holy Ghost and bust it out on your trumpet?" (the student then tried to act it out)
"No she probably goes to town on the piano. (again student acts it out)
"One time our preacher said he was filled with the Holy Ghost and he started shaking on the ground. That ain't no Holy Spirit. That's a seizure!"
"I would come to your church Miss Koutz but I don't know where it is and I like mine." (I was sure to encourage that student to keep attending their church!)
"Wait so you are telling me you preach at Oasis?! No way!"

Picture Time

The craziness of concert season is in full swing. There is plenty to do and not nearly enough time to get it all done. Tonight I took a short break to edit some photos from this weekend. Enjoy!

Seesaw Day

I had a love hate relationship with the seesaw growing up. I loved riding with people who understood how the seesaw worked because you could get a rhythm going. Up and down. Up and down. Up and down. Nice and even. I hated it when some of the boys wanted to join the ride. They loved to push off as hard as they could. Sometimes they would push off with so much strength and speed the seesaw with slam into the ground. But the worst was when you sat on the seesaw alone because no one wanted to play with you. I really hated the seesaw then.

Most of the time that is how my day at work is like a good seesaw ride. A good teaching moment here and there with a few unfocused students mixed in there. Ups and downs that tend to balance each other out at the end of the day. Today wasn't like that at all. It got off to a great start but went downhill in the afternoon. I left feeling like I was sitting on the seesaw alone.

The seesaw is no fun by yourself. It can't do what it is intended to do when only one person is riding. This isn't about feeling lonely, it is about feeling trapped in and unable to do what you were intended to do. Those are the most discouraging days in teaching. You see the purpose and potential but can't make those things happen with just yourself.

How do I motivate my students? How do I encourage them to join in the game? How do I show them their own potential?

Feeling Defeated

This has been a rough week at work. Today was especially frustrating. I sat at my desk at the end of the day trying to figure out how to get through to my students. I felt defeated and useless. On days like this I spend so much time wrestling with self-doubt. Why am I here? Why do I even bother? Do I really think I can make a difference? Who am I to think that I can make a difference in the lives of these students?

Let's face it. Every now and then we all have days like this. Satan would love it if we spend all of our time questioning ourselves and our influence. The choice we have is whether we are going to buy into these lies or refocus our attention back on God's truth.

I had a great discussion about this with a couple of our students last night. Sometimes it is hard not to fall into the trap of Satan's lies. It can be easy to let those lies cloud our view. It is in those moments we have to REMEMBER.

• Remember God's promises in Scripture.
• Remember God's faithfulness.
• Remember who is in control.

I'll be honest I'm still disappointed in some of the choices my students are making. I'm still feeling discouraged about our progress this week. But I know the last thing I want to do is take my focus off what God has called me to do. So no matter how horribly I thought the day went or how hard the challenges were I faced, I'll keep pushing forward. God is up to something and I want to be a part of it.

Bits and Pieces

SCHOOL:
I have a student who finally had their materials for class today. He picked up his instrument for the first time and played wonderfully. In about ten minutes, without any instruction, he had master more than most of his classmates. However, I got a call from his parents telling me he is not allowed to play that instrument and demanding he has to play another instrument he hates. What?! I don't get that.

My principal found out from another teacher that I'm on the teaching team at GCC. It started a very interesting conversation during my pre-observation conference. I got to share a little bit of my story and the journey God is leading me on these days. I am now looking forward to my post observation conference.

POLITICS:
The 8th grade honors classes put together a mock election for the entire 8th grade class. It started some heated discussion in some of my classes. Many students wanted to know who I voted for. They found it very interesting I wouldn't tell them. I made the decision a long time ago not to tell people how I vote. No good reason. Just my choice.

A handful of my students told me they weren't going to vote because their vote didn't matter. It wasn't a real election. That made annoyed me. I tried to take advantage of the teaching moment but they didn't care. Of course they were the same students who won't do anything that requires something other than breathing or talking.

In case you are wondering Obama won the election with 88% of the votes and McCain received 12%. Nader didn't even make in on the ballot at Edison but he did win the election at this school.

FRIENDS & FAMILY:
The tradition of three hour conversations over coffee continues. This tradition actually started as a misunderstanding but I love it. Allison and I took the curve ball thrown at us tonight and changed it up with smoothies and gelato. She has helped me think out loud through some things and is going to help us redo our fine arts logo at school. I love her!

I called everyone in my family today to make sure they voted. Usually Anna beats me to this or we divide and conquer. I didn't get to talk to her long but I also get to to her husband, Ryan. He is crazy!!!! We had our final baseball season is over conversation and had a moment of sadness together. I love my family!

This post is long. I was going to post some more old quotes I came across but I'll wait. It is probably best that way.

Where I Teach...

Perhaps you've been watching the news and read about the recent violence in South Bend. In just the last few weeks there have been a handful of shootings and even a stabbing resulting in the death of four people. Late last week one of those shootings hit close to home.

I discovered late last week a student was closely related to one of the victims. It isn't a pretty situation. This poor kid has had his entire ripped apart...again. This student is fighting against the odds. All the statistics state that he should drop out or be in JJC before he turns 16. The truth is he has tons of potential. He is quick to pick up new things and absolutely hilarious. My heart hurts for him.

Unfortunately this story fairly common for several of my students. I can't imagine growing up with that being my whole world. It is so far from the small town, USA childhood I had in Vestaburg. But it is reality. It is happening right in our back yard.

What am I doing to help bring up there down here for my students? What are you doing?

Great Messages, Charlie Brown and Football

I listened to week two of NewSpring's Beautiful series tonight. There is a small group of us who are going to listen to the entire series. I'm sure it will prompt some great conversations. So far I've been challenged in several ways.

I watched It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown tonight. I love Charlie Brown. There are a couple clips that may be useful in a message or two at some point. I might even blog about one of those clips later this week if there is time.

I used a football analogy with my 8th graders today in class. The first class laughed at me as I tried to act out the idea without a football. So over my plan time I went and got a football. I asked one of the football players in the second class to help me demonstrate. They loved it and were shocked at my knowledge of football. They laughed...a lot!!! This is probably one of my better ideas in teaching. However, the flutes did not like me comparing their part to the role of the cheerleaders.

Isn't that just like God?!

Afternoon conferences are the worst! I sit in my room alone bored out of my mind. No one ever comes to see the band director. This afternoon was no different. But then this happened.

Miss Koutz: (in my head) Man I wish that group of students were here to just hang out. Imagine if they started living for Jesus. I guess I'll pray for them. God, student #1 and student #2 need you...

Student #1 & #2: MISS KOUTZ!!! We came to hang out with you.

Miss Koutz: That is awesome!!!! Seriously, I was just thinking about you guys. I'm so excited you guys are here.

Isn't that just like God?! You guys know I'm not good enough to make that one up. They stuck around for about an hour and helped me with some things in the room. We continued an earlier conversation about GSM. I love how God opens doors. I have such awesome students!!!!

2nd Quarter Goals

For most of you this will be a boring post. Those of you who teach will only find it slightly more interesting.

We just finished our first quarter last week. Grades were entered into the computer and parent/teacher conferences are this week. This is a perfect time to step back, evaluate, adjust and push forward. I spent some time doing that today. Here are three goals I have specifically for this quarter.

1. Quick Pacing, Adequate Content - There isn't much down time in my class. I don't like wasting time so my pacing is pretty quick. That is a good thing for middle school student...unless you push the content too fast. After grading some end of the quarter quizzes and a few playing tests I think may be going over content a little to quickly, especially in the younger grades. Or I need to adjust the way I teach the content. Time to tweak!

2. Stay on Top of Paperwork - I use to be just like my dad. Collect an assignment, grade it, record it and return it the next day. That hasn't happened once this year. I don't like that at all. The administrative paper work has piled up quicker than it should as well. No nonsense this quarter my friends!

3. Consistent Documentation Plan - One thing I often hear from colleagues is that they appreciate how well I document things. What they don't know is that all of that documentation is in the form of post-it notes, scrap paper, computer files and all sorts of random places. I'm always coming up with a new way to organize it. I try it for a week and think of something better. This quarter I have one strategy and I'll use it the entire time. Then re-evaluate and revamp. This should be fun!

Goals for the Year:
(rated on a scale of 1 -10 with 1 being complete failure and 10 being pure success)
-> Implement new approach and document once a week. - Implementing = 7 Documenting = 2
-> Make relationships a priority = 8
-> Leave work at work = 6